A belated Valentine

I promised Kristen we would celebrate Valentine's Day when I got home from England, she was rather sad when she realized I wouldn't be home for that day. We have a little tradition where I make something yummy for dinner and then make fondue for afterwards (we really only started it last year, but it's something I'd like to do for a long time to come). So yesterday was the day!

Last year I made heart-shaped meatballs with spaghetti and then did chocolate fondue. I asked Kristen what we should do this year and she had the wonderful idea of making heart-shaped pizzas with heart-shaped pepperoni :-) So we did just that. . . . . first I set the table just a little (we didn't need cutlery for pizza!)

then we used some Pilsbury pizza dough to make our heart shapes (sort of) and covered them with sauce, cheese and pepperoni. . . .

and here's one fresh out of the oven. . . .


Kristen wanted to get even more creative, so she made this pizza to look like a 'wolf'! The funny thing was, when he came out of the oven she didn't want to eat him because he was her 'friend', so she had some of the other pizza (he's actually still in the fridge and I'm trying to talk her in to having him for supper or he'll just end up in the trash!)

Flowers for Grandma (my mom-in-law came over to celebrate with us) . . .

and I was spoiled by hubby with this beautiful heart necklace. . . .

of course you want to see a close up -

One thing I hadn't had a chance to mention on here.... the very first night I got home from England Kristen surprised me with her own valentine present. . . . 'Winnie the Pooh earrings'!

Aren't they the cutest thing... and you know where she got them? Ebay! She went searching on there one night looking for 'pooh' stuff because she knows how much I like him. She saw these and told me "they were only 99c, so I asked Daddy to help me bid on them and I WON" :-) I just love them

We had Mimosas and then finished the night off with our favorite.... fondue.

It was a lovely afternoon and evening. Oh, and Kristen's treat... a new little puppy and the CD from Alvin and the Chipmunks 'The Squeakqual' which she was thrilled with!

and finally a pic of my 'cute boys' :-)

A bit of a set back...

... for me, not my Mam! Mam is doing well I'm happy to say, gaining a little more strength each day and managing to walk herself to the bathroom when she needs to. It was me that had the set back yesterday :-( I went to bed on Tuesday night with a dull ache in my left ear, I knew what was happening, all that extra congestion, stuffy head, flying home, build up of fluid in my ear.... by the middle of the night I had a full blown ear infection and couldn't get to sleep. Decided to take two prescription pain meds in the hopes it would dull the pain and let me sleep - it didn't really work. We had that two hour delay for school yesterday morning but by the time I tried to get up at 7.30 I felt a mess! There was so much pressure in my head, my ear was still killing me, and to make it all worse I felt totally nauseous when I stood up. I had to lay straight back down and ask Jason to take Kristen to school.... and you know how much I hate being off my feet!

I called my ENT office first thing and managed to get a 3.30pm appointment. He took a look at my ear and up my nose - my sinuses are a mess, my ear-drum 'bulging' he says and I have a ton of congestion on my chest too. SO, more antibiotics for me, more steroids to take the swelling down (hooray, because I was starting to lose my sense of smell and taste, AGAIN!) and ear drops for good measure. All that said, I am already feeling much better today. Head not feeling so swollen and ear isn't hurting much either. I will take it easy again today though. I'll just put a little laundry in and let it do it's thing and just sit on the sofa in between loads (after I empty the dishwasher and clean up the kitchen)!

A few of you have mentioned that I should have narrated on my video so you could hear my accent :) and some have asked if I still even have an accent after so many years in the US. In answer to the first comment I will try to take another video soon (not sure of what yet, and I'll talk in it so you can hear me) and to the second question... I most certainly do still have an accent and it's all the stronger for just being home for two weeks. Jason could hear a big difference just talking on the phone to me while I was there ;-)

We got so much more snow than what you saw in the video on Tuesday... by the time I went and picked Kristen up from school at 10am (I wasn't waiting until they closed the school, which they never actually did for Elementary! The high school and middle schools got out at 12pm/12.30 but the Elementary kids were kept for the full day so kids weren't sent home with the chance that parents wouldn't be there!) the cul-de-sac was totally covered with snow. I think we got at least 3 inches, a total of about 4 by the end of the day.... here's a few pics of Kristen and Connor playing as soon as they got home

It's the first time Boo has seen snow and been in it.... he loved it! But I didn't let him stay out long as it was all sticking to his fur and getting rather matted...

I believe . . .

The forecast yesterday said it would snow today.... I said, I'd believe it when I saw it
I took this video just a few minutes ago from the balcony outside my bedroom.... (click the small box with the triangle to play)

Where to start...

The hardest thing about going away, is coming back and trying to get in to a routine again. And that seems all the more difficult to do when I feel like I hadn't even gotten in to a routine before I left! I was still trying to get myself back on track after the Christmas holidays.

So, here we are, the start of a brand new week, home from England and . . . . where to start? I think I will assign myself one room a day this week - today will be our bedroom and bathroom (which technically is 2 rooms but I'm not talking about a 'deep clean' here, just a general tidy up and wipe down). My suitcase is still sitting there waiting to be unpacked, I've done some but there's odds and ends laying on the floor that need to be picked up and put away. I won't bore you with what rooms I'll do each day, but after posting this I will make a list for myself in the hopes I will feel like I have accomplished something by the end of the week.

This weekend I've promised Kristen we will 'celebrate' Valentines Day with a little family party. I usually try to make a favorite dinner and something yummy for dessert and buy Kristen a little gift. She missed all that while I was away, so that is my plan for Saturday I think.

The weather here yesterday was beautiful, sunny blue sky and 72 degrees! Today, not so much, it's cold again and will only be about 50 degrees. That is still much warmer than England mind you. . . . here's a few pictures I took one morning when snow was falling, thankfully it stopped after about 30 minutes and didn't lie :

Have a great Monday!

It's good to be home....

. . . oh but how I miss my sweet Mam already. Saying goodbye was so hard, I wish I was still there with her. Here's a picture I took on my phone just a couple of days after I got there.

Mam is smiling on this one, but there were days she just didn't have the energy to do even that. She's getting better, but at a very slow pace. Thank you all for your prayers, and for the lovely cards you sent. I will continue to keep you all updated on her recovery. We still don't know when she will be released from the hospital, but as it stands right now we don't want them to send her home too soon. And once they do send her home, we aren't sure what kind of help/care she can get from Social Services. Prior to the pacemaker replacement op (which set off this whole turn of events) Mam was very independent and could do everything for herself, now she can't be left alone for a minute - certainly not until she gets her strength back. It's so very sad to see.

I'm taking it easy this weekend, it's weird but I almost feel like I've been sick with the flu or something the way I feel so tired. I went to bed at 8pm last night and woke up at 5.30am. I got up but by 11am I was already feeling tired again! Thankfully I don't feel too bad now, but I'm sure I'll be having another early night tonight, and will then have to get up at 6am for school tomorrow which shouldn't be too hard to do (I hope). I'll be trying my best to get back on course this week and get life back to normal for Kristen and Jason too.

24!

24 - that's how many hours I have left before I fly home to Texas :( Once again I'm torn. I miss my daughter and hubby so much and can't wait to get home to be with them, but I don't want to leave my Mam. She has improved a little this week, walking with her cane to the bathroom (with someone's help) when she needs to go, but yesterday it didn't feel like a good day for her. I think it was more a mental thing, she just keeps saying she's 'not right' and doesn't feel good, she's exhausted from walking, often a little shaky, very weak. All this is to be expected but I think the slowness of her recovery is getting to her. I can totally understand it, but I can't help change it :(

I will see her for the last time today, and I don't know what I will be like when I have to leave the hospital at 8pm tonight, not knowing when I will see her again. It's actually snowing as I type this! small soft flakes but it's not lying much right now. A magpie has just hopped on to my sister's fence. We saw one the other day and my sister hates to see one, it's a superstitious thing, based on a song I think.... ' one for sorrow, two for joy, 3 for a girl and 4 for a boy'! We did see the second one the other day, but this morning I didn't! Maybe the old saying is true, it will certainly be a sorrowful day leaving Mam today.

The snow is getting thicker, might have to go get my camera out and take a pic. I will check in this weekend once I'm back home.

On behalf of Mam, I'd like to say thank you to Jules (in Australia), Julie in MD, Melanie and Ingrid and Seera for sending Mam such sweet cards this week. And to everyone else that has sent them, that we haven't received yet. Mam is just thrilled when she gets them and can't believe the kindess of those she doesn't even know :)

Saturday morning

Is it Saturday already? This week has just flown by and I'm sure the next one will go even faster. I've been with Mam at the hospital for 6 hours every day, going in at 2pm when visiting starts and not coming home til 8pm when visiting ends. Other visitors have to leave between 5 and 6pm so the patients can have dinner (or tea as they say over here), but I stay there with Mam because the sister on the ward has given me special permission to do so.

Mam had a good day yesterday and is gaining strength every day. When we arrived at 2pm we saw her just walking back to her bed with a walking frame :) I was thrilled to see her on her feet. The day before she was exhausted just getting on a commode next to her bed. Yesterday she walked to the bathroom herself. I was explaining to my mil last night on the phone that Mam is not in a private room, she was in one for 2 days after her op last weekend but was then transferred to another ward across the hall that has 6 beds in it (all ladies of course, but there is a mens ward just next door to them too). They obviously don't have their own bathrooms, but have to walk out in to the hallway and use the 'patient bathroom' (visitors are not allowed to use this)! After having had surgery myself last year in the US, having my own room, calling the kitchen to order my own personal meals etc .... all I can say is I know which side of the pond I'd rather be on if I was sick!!

It's a slow process for Mam but she is improving every day. I will be going up to the hospital today and staying there til 5pm today. This evening I'm 'taking the night off' :-) My nieces are coming over to have a glass of wine with me and my sister and we're going to make a 'tapas bar'.

My brothers will visit Mam this evening.

Hello from England

Hi everyone. Just wanted to give an update on Mam. When I last spoke with my sister last Thursday night the latest news was that a vascular surgeon had been called in to look at the scan that was done on Mam's leg. My sister said the hematoma looked like it was getting bigger and Mam was still in agony. The Dr's could not see anything wrong on Mam's scan! Praise God for this vascular specialist, because he immediately saw from the scan that the vein in Mam's leg was damaged and was spurting blood in to her leg!! The only thing to do was emergency surgery. I left Austin on Friday morning not knowing if the decision had been made to operate on Mam, but I knew that is was highly likely that it would happen that afternoon while I was flying.

I landed in England on Saturday morning, 45 minutes late and no suitcase in sight! It hadn't made my connection because of the delay in the previous flight but it was delivered to me later that night. My brother picked me up at the airport and it was only then that he updated me on the news. Mam had made it through the surgery, but I found out that the operation was very risky and the surgeon had told my family that to keep Mam alive he would take her leg if needed. They weren't even sure if Mam's heart would be strong enough to bring her through the op. PRAISE GOD she did make it through

Mam is so much better than she was last week, but has a long road to recovery. The hematoma has been removed but I saw her wounds today and she has about 20 staples in the top of her leg, and 20 staples in her stomach. I can't believe what she's had to endure, and although my heart aches for what she has gone through I am just so thankful to be here with her now. I get to spend about 6 hours a day (from 2pm til 8pm) with her :-) I even took a picture of us on my new cell phone and some video but I can't upload to my sister's laptop because I didn't bring a cable.

I will update as and when I can. Thanks to everyone for your prayers and comments.

It's time to go......

I am leaving for England tomorrow around 11am :-( Mam is not getting any better and I just feel in my heart that it's time to go home. I thought she was improving, but after talking to my sister yesterday we realize that she's not getting any better just yet. In fact she's on so much morphine that she's barely conscious throughout the day.

The news I was getting each morning wasn't exactly accurate... what was happening was my sister would call the hospital in the morning to ask if Mam had had a comfortable night, she was told that she had and that she was even eating breakfast! Brenda would then text my sister Jean (who lives 3 hours away) to let her know, and then Jean (who's on the computer more than Brenda) emailed me to give me an update.

Because I got that news on Tuesday I didn't bother calling Brenda that night, but I called her on Wednesday night, even though the update that morning was the same... Mam was comfortable and was eating a little. Brenda had to tell me the whole truth - and I wanted to hear it. Despite the fact that Mam is sleeping well at night (so the hospital says) Brenda sees that she is not any better when she goes to visit, in fact if anything Mam looks worse because she is so 'doped up' on morphine. The problem is, if they reduce the dosage then Mam is in extreme pain. She was still in pain on Wednesday because some silly male nurse told her she could only have pain meds every 4 hours and she was crying to Brenda for some relief :( Brenda immediately went ot speak to another nurse and that nurse confirmed to the male nurse that Mam was on meds every hour!

So, I'm leaving tomorrow, and I am trusting God that I will get there in time and I can spend some time with Mam. I trust Him too for complete healing for Mam whether it is on this earth or her heavenly home. I know Jason and Kristen will manage just fine while I'm gone.

I will be able to update my blog while I'm there and I can access Facebook. I just won't be able to get to my email because I use Outlook.

I appreciate your continued prayers.

Things that make me smile....

I got an email from my sister Jean this morning. Brenda had text her that Mam had had a comfortable night last night and the pain meds were starting to work, she was even managing to have breakfast this morning :-) I want to thank you all for your kind comments and prayers. It truly is a blessing knowing I have so many friends here who care.... and most of you I've never even met. I just love that about the blogging community. No matter what you're going through, you are never alone. Thank you, and I will continue to keep you all updated on how Mam is doing. I am still thinking about when to go over.

Also in the mail yesterday was a few photos from my sister Brenda, one of them was a picture of all her grandchildren. She and her hubby were surprised by the kids at Christmas with a big portrait....

You can see the photo above.... I bought a 'mount' for it in Hobby Lobby today and you can see I have one of my black frames at the ready.....

I love it! You can enlarge the picture to see all those beautiful smiles :-) Kristen lovingly thinks of all these kids as her cousins, when in actual fact their Mommies and Daddies are her real cousins, and these are her second cousins! Confusing I know. But I was much older having my child than my sister was in having her 3, which created the big age gap. In fact when I was pregnant with Kristen at age 36 my niece Joanne (Brenda's oldest daughter) was also pregnant with her first and only child.... that's Cameron (he's just 3 mths younger than Kristen) on the left of the photo. The little girl and baby boy to the right of the photo are Deborah's children (Brenda's second daughter) and the 2 little girls in pink and little boy at the top are her youngest (and only) son's children.

Ok, so enough of who's who, you're probably bored by now! So here's how they look on my wall....

The wall is still not finished as you can see, but I'm working on it. And speaking of that. . . . .

this is what I'm working on next. And that's all I'm gonna say about it for now ;-)

One last thing that made me happy just yesterday.... finding out I was the winner on Susan's lovely give-away :-) I won the Pride and Prejudice book and a lovely flower cuff. I got the dvd for Christmas but I have been longing to read the book, and the library NEVER has it in! I am thrilled and can't wait to get this. Thank you again Susan.

My heart is breaking.....

A few hours ago (last night) I was about to get on line and book a flight home to England :( My Mam is very sick. Since her pacemaker replacement back in December she has just not been able to get well. Her main problem is excruciating pain from a hematoma at the top of her leg. I spoke with my sister yesterday and she said it was only in the past 3 or 4 days that Mam had really gone down hill. The pain was so bad she was nauseous and couldn't eat. She's hardly drank anything either and my poor sister felt helpless watching her just waste away before her eyes.

Words can't describe how helpless I feel. I was ready to just get on a plane this week and go see Mam, my heart is aching to be there so much. Not just to see Mam but to relieve some of the stress my sister feels in trying to take care of her at the same time as looking after some of her grandchildren during the week.

I spoke with Brenda again this morning and broke down and cried "I'm coming home" I said, I want to be with Mam. Brenda had been on the phone to the Dr. and he agreed to get Mam admitted in to hospital to try and get her pain controlled. We all feel that if they could just ease her pain she would feel like eating and would be able to gain some of her strength back. My sister said 'wait'.... if I could and see how Mam is in a few days. She's in the best place right now to get some help.

If I thought I could go over there and sit with Mam all day and all night I would, but the hospitals in England have strict visiting times, Mam won't even be in a private room. Visiting hours are only for 3 hours in the afternoon and 3 hours in the evening... after that they would literally 'throw me out' I'm sure. My sister and 3 brothers are there to visit her at every opportunity, oh and there's only 3 allowed around the bed at one time, so even if I was there and they came to visit I'd have to leave the bedside so we don't overcrowd it!

So, I wait.... and my heart aches. I would appreciate your prayers for my Mam's recovery, and for peace in my heart. I was stressing out about leaving Kristen for 2 weeks and Jason, you know us Mom's we just feel like they can't cope without us even though they can. Unless Mam takes a turn for the worst I think I will plan on a trip back home in March at Spring Break. That way Jason might be able to take the week off work to be home with Kristen and they won't have to even worry about getting up early for school. I would feel more comfortable about that.

I know God's timing in everything is perfect. I put my trust in Him.

I just wanted to share a few of my favorite photos from the last couple of trips I had home....

A trip to Durham, me, Brenda and Mam.

Princess Ethel, on her 80th birthday, 2005

A day at the beach, July 2008